Once you have created a great profile, it’s time for some action. After searching through some profiles and finding one that you like and would like to contact, it comes time for the first message. This is a critical area that many people do not put enough effort into. Your first message is extremely important, so you need to do it right. First messages that are extremely short, have misspelled words, are too forward, sound creepy, are hard to understand, etc. are very likely to be quickly ignored. Timing is important as well. Studies have shown that the best times to contact someone is between 6:30pm and 8:30pm in the evening, and that anytime during the day on Sunday is the best time to send a message.
You want the first message to be pleasant. Starting off by giving a nice compliment about the other persons profile is a good way to start. It lets the other person know that you took the time to actually read their profile, and it also shows that you are considerate. Try and make a unique message to each person you are writing to. If you are simply sending the same message to a bunch of different people, it usually does not work that well. Try and stand out from the crowd by putting in the time to analyze the other persons profile and talk about a few interests that you both have in common, or something interesting in their profile that you liked. After giving a nice compliment, take a few sentences or a paragraph and tell the other person a little bit about yourself.
Make the first message about 2-4 paragraphs. Your goal is to get the conversation going rather than having your message ignored. The nice thing about internet dating is that you have lots of search parameters that you can use to find who you are looking for. So instead of relying on your daily matches alone, put the effort into searching for someone that you really like. This way you are not wasting all your time contacting someone who really isn’t your ideal match.
In the first message it is ok to tease a little bit, but always appear to be non-threatening. Do not mention anything sexually explicit on the first message, or brag about things in your life. It is also a good idea to avoid CAPS, try and avoid abbreviations that the other person may not understand, and use LOL’s and smiley faces sparingly. Another great idea is to ask a question on your first message. Your main goal of the first message is to get a response. So an intelligent question about something they are interested in usually works quite well.
When ending your first message, be sure to let them know that you would like to hear back from them.
If the first message is successful and you get the conversation started, you are half way there! So put in the extra effort that 95% of the other people won’t put in to send a great first message and really start seeing some great results!
The Conversation Has Started
Once you have started a dialogue, you are in a great position. Usually one or both people are very excited about their new potential match. So it is critical not to do anything stupid to mess things up at this point. If you think that you really like this person, your goal is to have a nice, easy going conversation that will lead to a first date. Don’t make the other person wait a long time to hear back from you. Waiting a long time can cause the excitement to die down. You want to get the conversation going being as intelligent and thoughtful as possible.
After a nice exchange of messages it is usually a good time for the guy to ask the woman if she would like to chat on the phone, on live chat, on Skype, etc. This is my favorite part of the dating process. This is where you’ll really be able to get a good idea of the other person. I am always wary of someone who will refuse to talk on the phone or live chat. If they refuse to do this, it is hard to take that person seriously as a potential match. Talking on the phone or voice chat is a great tool for women as well, as you will generally be able to tell what type of guy you are dealing with just after a short chat.
The goal of the conversation should be to simply get to know each other better. If the connection is just like crazy good, you can chat for quite a long time. But generally, it is best to just keep the chat going for about 15 to 30 minutes and then end the conversation on a positive note, hopefully with an agreement to meet up for a date in the next week or so. Once again, it is not a good idea to play games or make the other person wait a long time. With love, it is generally best to strike when the iron is hot and see where fate will lead you. Given too much time, the brain can come up with all sorts of negative things that are not conducive with finding love.